The Best Laid Plans
Well, we have our first kiddos.
For this placement, we are doing what is called respite care. Click this link to read more about what this means. So far things are going well, but we are definitely learning that you can’t plan for everything.
Things go awry.
We planned to do pizza the first night because it’s easy. But a few days before our placement, we got a message from the foster mom, and she told us that one of the kiddos didn’t care for pizza. So, we ended up making American style tacos instead. Thankfully, we had everything we needed except for tortillas and a mild salsa (which we got because we didn’t know if kids would like medium salsa, but that’s the only one they’ve been eating).1
It’s easy to forget.
Once they got here, we forgot everything that we had planned because there was so much we had to do. It was just very overwhelming. As I was trying to prep dinner, one of the kids asked for an orange they saw on the counter. I had completely forgotten that I made a snack basket for the kids (as was suggested in a foster care youtube video)2, and I hadn’t showed it to her. Thankfully, this child was not shy, so they were able to articulate what they needed. And that’s only one of the many things I forgot to do.
More Paper Trails.
Again, we have to document everything. Once the children enter our home, we are required inventory everything they have. This was a bit overwhelming because in part it felt really invasive, but also, the language barrier made it challenging. But we divided and conquered. Eventually, we got to into a groove where I would attempt to ask, “How many (shirts, pants, jackets, shoes…) do you have?” The kids would count. Then Joshua would write down the info for one kid, and I would write down the info for the other. I later found out that we didn’t need to do the inventory when they came for respite. SMH! This was one paper trail we didn’t need to make.
The kids were so exhausted the first night when this was all done, they went to bed about 30 minutes early, and we didn’t even have to tell them to do to bed.
And sometimes they throw you for a loop.
On our first morning, they woke up at 6:30. I had been awake for about an hour, so that wasn’t a big deal. What shocked me was that they came out and asked for coffee. They are not little kids, but definitely younger than I would generally serve coffee. I know that coffee is an important part of Latin American culture. Also, I remember being a preteen/young teen when it was cool to go to the mall and get Starbucks. I don’t know why I was so surprised, but I wasn’t prepared.
Since we are doing respite, I didn’t want to go against rules that their foster parents have set. At the same time, it was 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday; I didn’t want to wake them up. So, I made the kids decaf coffee.
Then there was a plot twist! The younger, more outgoing, more precocious child didn’t want coffee even though they were the one to ask for it. So the older child more reserved child must have asked the younger child to ask me for coffee.
And then there are miscommunications.
On our first day, I decided that we were going to go to the zoo. We went this summer with some friends, and I ended up buying a membership. When I told the kids about this, they seemed excited, especially the younger one. Before we left for the zoo the kids asked if we could go to Walmart afterwards, I needed to buy milk, so I said yes. They spent the whole time at the zoo asking if they could leave, and I couldn’t understand why they were so excited about Walmart.
In our foster care program, the kids get an allowance, so I assumed they wanted to spend their allowance money. But they assumed that I was going to buy them whatever they wanted. I told them I would buy them both a pair of sunglasses, and I let them pick out some snacks, but I know they were disappointed.
Now, it’s time for goodbye.
We’ve had lots of ups and downs, successes and failures. We’ve had them a few days now, and we’ve settled into a routine just in time for us to say goodbye, but I think that’s how it’s going to go. We are all learning and growing together.
There’s an adorable tiktok video of a dad singing a song about pizza to his son, and his son shouting that they are going to have tacos. Joshua saw this video the same day we got the message that one of the kids not liking pizza. I was going to include that video here, but then I had second thoughts. A parent can choose to post a video of their kid on the internet, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing a video of other people’s kids on the internet.
I don’t remember which video it was, but it was by this youtuber/tiktoker. I have watched nearly all of her videos.