Our most recent kiddo left this past Monday. We’ve had a kid-free week, which has been helpful as I transition back to teaching after a week off because of snow days.
By the end of the week, we decided to close our beds for the next week because Joshua has a show opening this week, and we have a few social events. It’s easier to close our beds than to get a sitter, so it will be another week before we have another child.
Since we don’t have anything new to report this week, this post will be about some misconceptions we’ve encountered as we’ve begun this fostering journey.
1) Adopting is better.
Adopting is different. It serves a different purpose than fostering. In some situations, foster care is better for the child, and in some situations, adoption is better for the child. Both are hard. Both are good. Both are trying to do what is best for kids.
2) People who foster are not as committed as people who adopt.
We are not fostering because we don’t want the commitment of adopting a child. Fostering is a different type of commitment. Like I mentioned above different kids have different needs. Some kids need to be adopted, and some kids need to be fostered. It is not about commitment. It is about what need you are best fit to meet.
3) The goal of fostering is adoption.
A lot of children are adopted from foster care. We have a few friends who have done this. However, the goal of foster care is for the child to be in the best situation for them. Sometimes, this is remaining in foster care; sometimes, returning to biological family; sometimes, it is for the child to be adopted. It just depends on the child and their situation.
The children we are fostering are not adoptable. I think that makes fostering a bit easier for us because we are not living in a state of wondering if we are going to be able to adopt the kiddos or not. We know they are only with us for a short time, and we will love and care for them for however long that is.
4) It’s sad for children to go to their sponsor.
When I told someone that one of our kids was being reunited with family, their immediate response was less than enthusticatic. I was shocked by their reaction because we were celebrating with our kiddo.
I am sure there will be times when it is hard for kids to leave. So far, it really hasn’t been because we are so excited for our kids to be reunited with their families. Every kiddo has been excited to be reunified, and we celebrate with them.
Maybe, it will be harder in the future if we have a longer placement, but as of right now, our longest placement has been 3 weeks.
As I said earlier, since we knew from the beginning that the children will only be with us for a short time, it makes this transition easier.
5) We are doing this great thing that others could never do.
I know that fostering isn’t for every family and every family situation. I am not saying that it’s easy. There have been late nights and lice and language barriers. But, really, this is something that other people can do to. You don’t have to have superpowers. You just need a willingness to learn, flexibility, some patience, and a desire to give kids a safe, nurturing environment.
This is good information and iinsightful.